Lumberjacks and Dragons

Then they met a naked guy in a hat and cloak
And OozeMan gave them some fire-flasks


Meet the Ogres

Thom and Snæfellsnes easily infiltrated the city and began searching. As they were looking for a magic bowl that may or may not summon demons according to Oreo, they headed for the most savagely religiously ornate building figuring that would be where any relics would be found amongst these savages. Thom teleporting into the SRO Building did indeed lead them to the bowl, guarded by a box and boxed in by guards. Unfortunately the guarded box was trapped with various alarms which went off and summoned the back room shaman OozeMan the ogre. He interrogated Thom on who he was and why he was there.

After trying to avoid answering anything and getting very little information from OozeMan other than the ogres were friendly to outsiders that don’t attack them and were expecting someone to come and get the real bowl (the one in the guard-box was a fake) from the trolls that live in the Magical Mesa of Magic Moments, the two went back to the camp to report.

Gyleon set up a plan where his crew would attack the city from several sides drawing attention from the center, while Thom and Snæfellsnes would sneak back in and grab the icon.

Snæfellsnes and Thom instead snuck in and asked OozeMan if he had a spare fake bowl. He did. They gave it to Guy and then split off from Guy and his crew. Instead of heading north like they told him, the pair headed back to OozeMan to get ready to go after the real bowl in possession of the trolls of the Spell-filled Steppe of Swirling Spells.

The Long Haul

Continuing on their travels, they reached the edge of the desert uneventfully. Stocking up at the city on the edge of the desert, the expedition traded their horses for camels, one of which quickly befriended Snæfellsnes. A few weeks travel into the desert however, the expedition was raided at night by a group of ogres. After fighting back and forth a few moments and taking out only two ogres, the party was already looking beaten. Thom summoned up an image of a blue dragon, which scared off all but one remaining ogre, which the rest of the party was able to dispatch.

A few days of travel later, the expedition’s navigator, Chass, found signs of an oasis, which Snæfellsnes was able to quickly locate. Seeing as how oases can attract other life in the desert, Gyleon thought it necessary to send down a forward group to scout: himself, Thom, Snæfellsnes, and Chass. As they neared, they heard a woman shrieking for help. Quickening their pace, the group saw her as soon as they looked over the ridge, but saw nothing seeming to endanger her, until a behemoth creature rose from the sand and struck her down. The party rushed to attack the beast. Thom used a teleportation spell to swap places with the unconscious woman so Chass could see to her while the other three saw to the monster. Snæfellsnes rode his new camel friend up to face the creature, and dismounted before bringing the camel into danger. Gyleon was unable to keep his camel under control enough to get very close without dismounting. Snæfellsnes struck a few great blows, which took the leviathan’s attention, allowing Thom to plunge his daggers into the monster’s softer parts, slaying it.

As the monster lay dead and Chass revived the woman, another figure appeared over a dune. A dwarf woman in official dress, attempting to arrest Gyleon. Gyleon attacked her, but again with a bit of teleportation, found himself manacled. After an impromptu trial, in which Thom was able to learn a few things that Gyleon had been hiding by use of a detect thoughts spell, it was determined that Gyleon was likely guilty of something, but would not get a fair trial where he was going to be taken, and because the party was already in the middle of something anyway, the party sent the dwarf named Oreo away tied up under the care of the sand woman they just saved from the beast, with instructions to take her away and then release her.

Again, a few days passed, and the group ran into the sand people, this time in force. After assuring them the expedition intended to kill the ogres, they provided directions on how to get to where the ogres were. Thanks were given all ’round, and the expedition moved on.

An ambiguous amount of time passed (it’s the desert, after a while it all just runs together), and the crew reached a large ruined city, which while ruined, did not seem entirely abandoned, as they could see large shadows moving through it. Thom and Snæfellsnes were elected as stealthy enough to infiltrate the city and try to find the bowl that Gyleon sought.

To be continued.

On the Road Again

After meeting up with Koda, Imiriel, Gyleon, and Bill, the party headed out! On Horseback! And whilst riding ahead to Tossman’s Post Snæfellsnes slaughtered a helpless giant and Thom watched.

Funeral and Assassin

The party that headed to Rider’s End for Jedarkka’s funeral did get some shopping done and sold Excalibur to the Mages University for re-stoning as Snæfellsnes had lost his desire to be king. Thom took a teleport to Moon Run and did some further shopping, while Imiriel and Koda headed that direction on horseback. Snæfellsnes stayed for his sister-in-law’s funeral and to spend as much time with his family as he could before he was needed in Moon’s Run. At the end of the week, he had the University teleport him to Moon’s Run.

It wasn’t long before he ran into Thom, conning people out of a few silver on the street with sleight of hand games. Thom began to take Snaefelsnes to the Purple Crayon tavern where the others were staying. Very quickly though he noticed they were being followed. The two split up and disappeared into the crowd. The figure that was following them looked confused for a moment and then headed off. Thom followed him to the Purple Crayon, but promptly lost him as he darted around a corner. Thom headed into the tavern to wait for Snæfellsnes.

Snæfellsnes did find the tavern eventually and was stopped by an old elf whom Snæfellsnes offered to buy a drink, though Snæfellsnes was wary of the stranger who was approaching just after he had lost a mysterious tail. Rightly so, as the elf stabbed him just a few seconds later. Snæfellsnes began to hack at the assassin, who after sustaining some serious injuries, ran around the corner of the building. Thom came out to see what the commotion was, and took out the assassin with a final blow as he was trying to escape over the roof.

Liches and other bumps in the night

The five valiant heroes pressed forward, slaying demon and skeleton alike. They reached a wraith guarding an entranceway, through which a staircase was visible. After a pointless exchange of pleasantries, the group swiftly dispatched the hovering health-stealer, and proceeded down the staircase.

There they found an armor-clad lich, pondering a black sword balanced point down atop a pedestal covered in runes. Unappreciative of the party’s interruption of his pontifications, the lich turned and attacked. Gyleon and Imiriel were quickly trapped under a dome of rock the lich conjured, and Koda was trapped in a roaring circle of wind. While Snæfellsnes went toe-to-toe with the lich, Thom attempted to figure out the runes on the pedestal. When that proved fruitless and Snæfellsnes was starting to lose ground against the lich, Thom instead began to take the lich’s attention while Snæfellsnes healed and plucked the sword from the stone, proving him ruler of all England!*

The new king swung Excaliber* and smote the lich, not actually doing much damage. The lich cackled “I shall be king!*” and snatched the sword from Snæfellsnes’s grasp. Thom tapped the lich on the shoulder and the lich crumpled to dust.

Also the dwarf died. And that’s exactly how it happened. *

The party escorted their new king* back to town, where they split into two groups. Gyleon headed to the desert, and Imiriel headed with the rest of the party to Jedarkka’s funeral, in Rider’s End.

*Objects in asterisks may be more fictitious than appear.

And Undead!

Snæfellsnes, distraught over the loss of his sister-in-law, and Thom, having been lost in the woods, were both eager to get back to civilization. Despite Koda’s protesting, the group headed back to Winter… something… town, after a quick search of the ghoul/ghast room. Back in town, they found Gyleon and Imiriel, two adventurers from the tavern, and agreed to help with their quest to retrieve some ogre tiara from the desert, if they would first assist with the vanquishing of whatever evil was seemingly pouring out demons. The five headed back to the Undead Crypt, and descended.

They wandered the crypt, fighting off undead and demons alike. Where last we left, a pair of shades in the hallway had left Guy Leon a bit weakened, but no worse in vision.


Our party pressed north, fighting through a band of smaller demons before getting to Winter.. something… the town to the north! There William P.I. headed to the temple of New Atta to check in, and the Brother and Sister in-law headed to the tavern, to check it out. There they ran into their friend Koda, who had been scouting the area, trying to determine where the new influx of demons had been coming from. They decided to help Koda out in her quest, and set out to the north at a slow pace.

They faced Fiendish Ogres, Fiendish Ankhegs, and Fiendish Fiends, to arrive at the Fiendish Undead Crypt. There, Jedarkka led the way down to the first room, wherein she found a group of ghastly ghouls and ghoulish ghasts. She was promptly paralyzed by the toxic touch of a ghast and as she was being dragged out by Snæfellsnes, the ghouls pouring over each other after the duo tore her apart. Snæfellsnes and Koda attempted to fight the ghouls off, but both ended up paralyzed as Jedarkka did. Luckily, a lost innocent soul happened by, and he and Strongbadger were able to hold off the ghouls, partly due to a friendly landslide, until Snæfellsnes was able to move again and defeat the remaining ghouls handily.


So Kep stood no chance as the prosecutor in the Trial to Determine the Innocence of Snæfellsnes di Happadalssýsla in the Death of Relata Medalesire, especially as his first legal action was to go off topic and accuse Snæfellsnes and Jedarkka of killing his daughter. It did help that the Mayor brought in William McCullum, a Paladin of New Atta (an upgrade from that cruddy Old Atta), who had been playing detective the past few days and determined the story regarding the Lady’s death by bandits on the road to be more believable than that she wielded a poisoned crossbow and chased Snæfellsnes who fled into his attacker’s own mansion. Detective Bill also determined that while not greatly evil, Kep was clearly tainted by it. The mayor had no choice but to rule in the favor of our guilty heroes.

Bill ended up heading the same direction and with the same purpose as Snæfellsnes and Jedarkka, to investigate the rumors of demons to the north. They decided it would be welcome to have the extra assistance and headed north.

After a few days, they were ambushed by a lone demon covered in an acidic slime. The Babau after a brief engagement of trading blows eventually decided the trio was too much trouble and disappeared.

Harebrained Scheme!

After a few hours without the return of Snæfellsnes, Jedarkka went looking. She knew he had headed to the Medalesire mansion to try to offload the wolf, so started by heading that direction. Upon finding the CSI Koligenan team onsite, she inquired as to her brother-in-law’s whereabouts. The sobbing servants were only to eager to inform her that Snæfellsnes brought the wolf, and then killed Lady Medalesire.

She headed to the Watch headquarters and found Snæfellsnes in a cell, unconscious.

Thinking quickly, Jedarkka formed a plan.

First, she found the body. With just a bit of confidence, she made the guard leave, and then she attempted to mangle the body enough to be unrecognizable, tearing clothes and stealing jewelry (including the signet ring), and even breaking the nose. She then head to Lady Medalesire’s quarters, and found a dress and some of the Lady’s makeup and perfume.

She then went back to the Watch headquarters and recovered Snæfellsnes’s belongings, signing for all but Lali’s signet ring, which she palmed and then made the guard think it was simply lost on the floor. She also took a look at the crossbow and bolts that were used to wound Snæfellsnes, and found the bolts had a sheen to their tips. She mentioned the possibility of poison, and how it would be odd if the Lady would have actually been using poison.

She headed to the market to try to find a disguise kit, but there were none to be found. She headed back to the Watch to interrogate one of the captured bandits, to see if he could provide a source for the seedier side of the market. Unfortunately, he was able to give a name, but Jedarkka was not able to find its owner.

Trying another option, Jedarkka went to the theater to catch a play. After the play was over, she wheedled a meeting out of one of the lead cast members. Feigning an interest in the thespian arts, she managed to borrow some makeup and received a few tips on how to effectively use it to become someone else.

She wrote out a note, using the note she had from Lady Medalesire as a template for the handwriting, explaining how the Lady was rushed away on business, to the north. She disguised herself as the Lady, using the disguise kit, and the Lady’s own makeup, perfume, boots, and dress. She went down and bought a horse, playing the role of insufferable rich person in a hurry and abusive, making sure to flash the signet ring and explain how she was Lady Medalesire and shouldn’t have to put up with this. Then, at the north gate of town, she handed to the note to a guard, with a few gold pieces, explaining that needed to get to her mansion, the Medalesire mansion, quickly. She rode off north, until out of sight of town, at which point she dismounted the horse, used her own blood to bloody the saddle, tore the dress and put the resultant rag on the saddle, and wedged a boot into the stirrup. She turned the horse toward town and gave it a slap on the flank to send it that direction. She then removed the rest of her disguise and followed it at a leisurely pace. On getting back to town, she found the guard and a few others gathered around the horse and discussing the probable fate of the Lady.

She then took a few hours to spread the story of how Lady Medalesire’s horse had come back bloody and riderless, and how she must have died on the road at the hands of bandits.

Then she headed back to the Watch, to insist upon medical attention for Snæfellsnes. The Watch had found that indeed, the bolts were poisoned. She sat to rest, and to wait for Snæfellsnes to wake.


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